Thursday, September 18, 2008

Is Walking Next On The State's List Of Things To Ban?

So I have this habit of going on long walks in the middle of the night--to clear my head and relax.

BIIIIIG mistake.

Not too long ago I was walking on a big-ass dirt trail late at night. My car was parked in a park near the beginning of a trail.

When I got back from my walk, I climbed in my car, and knew that I smelled bacon. Unsurprisingly, the cop car coming down the road turned on its lights while I rolled my eyes.

It took nearly ten minutes for the moron to get out of his car. First, he told me about my "crime": being parked in a "public park" that's closed. Whoop-de-friggin doo. Who follows those silly rules anyway?

Then he got all "tricky," thinking he's clever, asking me what I'm doing outside by myself out in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night.

I told him the exact truth--that I was out walking/jogging--and the pig didn't believe me. Every word out of my mouth he tried to 'turn back' on me ("Do you always jog in jeans? Blah blah"). It was rather laughable. He asked to see my license and registration, so I gave them to him. He asked why I had bedspread and a pillow in my backseat, thinking I was a drifter or something (I was actually going to wash them).

I waited forever while his incompetent ass sat in his car. Then he finally came back and started taking down my name, number, and so on. I didn't get in any trouble, but this fool wasted about 30 minutes of my time while god-knows how many people were being raped, murdered, molested, and mugged.

What a great reward for being a law-abiding citizen! It's now illegal to go on a walk!

I keep hearing that we need to "respect cops" and "pay them more," but I don't see the point. I've never met a cop who wasn't a complete asshole. They do nothing but harass those of us who follow the rules while the crooks go free.

Screw the cops.

3 comments:

Mike said...

"Likes to take late night walks"... that's going in your permanent file, buster!

Rorshak (1313) said...

I remember reading a short story back in high school about a man who goes on walk at night in a future world with a totalitarian government. He gets arrested and sent to be "re-educated" because this is deviant in this future as everyone stays indoors watching television.

Goddamnit if all those sci-fi stories about future dystopias aren't turning out to be prophetic.

Cork said...

LOL! I believe it!