Study Finds That Market Anarchists Are Geniuses

Ok, so these studies are usually bullshit and every political category is loaded with smart people and idiots. But still, since this article fits with my own narrow point of view, I'm going to put up its dubious conclusions as if they're gospel, so that I can proclaim myself an intellectual giant.

Sociologist Markus Kemmelmeier compared college students' self-professed political views to their SAT and ACT scores (which are imperfect but useful measures of cognitive ability.) First, he did find a general trend that social conservatives (those who wanted to ban abortion and gay marriage) weren't as gifted as students with a more progressive take on gender roles.

And who is less socially conservative than us market anarchists? Nobody! Hooray!

But he found the exact opposite pattern with anti-regulation attitudes: The conservatives/libertarians (yay guns boo taxes) appeared to be smarter than their commie compatriots. Kemmelmeier found this crossover "particularly surprising" and says, "It highlights (yet again) that ‘conservatism' is not necessarily a coherent construct, but that you have to distinguish at minimum social conservatism and economic conservatism (libertarianism). If you think about it: Jerry Falwell and Milton Freedman are worlds apart."

And who is more anti-regulation than us market anarchists? Literally nobody! Hooray!

Kemmelmeier found another pattern in his data, one supporting the previously-suggested idea that holding unpopular political views demands more cognitive resources ("context theory"). Those with the strongest beliefs, either way red or way blue, are smarter than the wishy washy centrists too confused to stake their own ground.

And who the hell is less wishy washy or 'centrist' than us market anarchists? Nobody! Hooray!

We're a bunch of friggin' geniuses. Just as I thought.